HYTH 'A'  (34)
MIT 'A'   (29)

	MA1	MA2	MA3
HA1	1½-5½	 6-1	1½-5½	 9
HA2	 1-6	 5-2	 7-0	13
HA3	 4-3	 3-4	 5-2	12
	 14½	  7	  7½

MIT 'B'  (43)
McGILL   (20)

	Mc1	Mc2	Mc3
MB1	4-3	5-2	5½-1½	14½
MB2	5-2	3-4	5½-1½	13½
MB3	6-1	3-4	 6-1	15
	 6	14	  4

HYTH 'B'  (35⅔)
MIT 'B'   (27⅓)

	MB1	 MB2	 MB3
HB1    4⅔-2⅓     5-2	 6-1	15⅔
HB2	3½-3½	 3-4	4½-2½	11
HB3	 1-6	 5-2	 3-4	 9
	11⅚	  8	  7½

HYTH 'A'  (32½)
SOM	  (30½)

	S1	S2	S3
HA1	 6-1	1-6	5-2	12
HA2	 1-6	5-2	6-1	12
HA3	4½-2½	1-6	3-4	 8½
	  9½	14	 7

MIT 'A'   (48)
SOM	  (27)

	S1	S2	S3
MA1	1-6	6-1	1-6	13
MA2	1-6	2-5	6-1	 9
MA3	4-3	4-3	6-1	14
	15	 9	 3

HYTH 'B'   (33⅓)
McGILL     (29⅔)

	Mc1	Mc2	Mc3
HB1	 3-4	 3-4	 6-1	12
HB2     2⅓-4⅔    1-6	 6-1	 9⅓
HB3	5½-1½	 1-6	5½-1½	12
	10⅙	 16	 3½

HYTH 'A'  (45½)
HYTH 'B'  (17½)

	HB1	HB2	HB3
HA1	 6-1	6-1	6-1	18
HA2	2½-4½	6-1	6-1	14½
HA3	 1-6	6-1	6-1	13
	 11½	 3	 3

MIT 'A'   (48)
HYTH 'B'  (15)

	HB1	HB2	HB3
MA1	6-1	6-1	7-0	19
MA2	5-2	6-1	5-2	16
MA3	6-1	1-6	6-1	13
	 4	 8	 3

SOM       (40)
HYTH 'B'  (23)

	HB1	HB2	HB3
S1	 6-1	6-1	 2-5	14
S2	 6-1	6-1	 6-1	18
S3	1½-5½	1-6	5½-1½	8
	 7½	 8	 7½

HYTH 'A'   (48)
MIT 'B'    (15)

	MB1	MB2	MB3
HA1	6-1	6-1	6-1	18
HA2	6-1	6-1	1-6	13
HA3	5-2	6-1	6-1	17
	 4	 3	 8

MIT 'A'   (41½)
MIT 'B'   (21½)

	MB1	MB2	MB3
MA1	 6-1	6-1	4½-2½	16½
MA2	5½-1½	1-6	5½-1½	12
MA3	 1-6	6-1	 6-1	13
	 8½	 8	  5

SOM      (46)
MIT 'B'  (17)

	MB1	MB2	MB3
S1	5½-1½	6-1	3-4	14½
S2	5½-1½	6-1	6-1	17½
S3	 5-2	6-1	3-4	14
	  5	 3	 9

HYTH 'A'  (51)
McGILL    (12)

	Mc1	Mc2	Mc3
HA1	5-2	 6-1	6-1	17
HA2	6-1	5½-1½	6-1	17½
HA3	6-1	4½-2½	6-1	16½´
	 4	  5	 3

MIT 'A'   (52)
McGILL    (11)

	Mc1	Mc2	Mc3
MA1	6-1	6-1	4-3	16
MA2	6-1	6-1	6-1	18
MA3	6-1	6-1	6-1	18
	 3	 3	 5

SOM     (46½)
McGILL  (16½)

	Mc1	Mc2	Mc3
S1	6-1	3-4	 6-1	15
S2	6-1	6-1	 6-1	18
S3	5-2	6-1	2½-4½	13½
	 4	 6	 6½

LAKE MOHEGAN

Severin [Drix]`s Fall Lake Mohegan weekend started on a sour note last October, when only 7 of the originally expected 14 winkers showed up.  The weekend was to be one of the big events of the year, with seven major teams each sending two people but by the time Friday evening had arrived only Sunshine and Mary [Kirman] (HYTH), Bill Renke and Jim Marlin (MIT), Ferd [Wulkan] (Somerville) and host Severin had appeared at the small home on the shores of Lake Mohegan.

The weekend was spent winking, waiting for Andy [Tomaszewski], winking, eating pizza, winking, waiting for Andy, winking, playing tennis baseball, more winking, more waiting for Andy, still more winking, waiting for Phil, even more winking, giving up on waiting for Andy and a lot of hitching.  What more can be said?

Severin’s Winter Perversion weekend at Lake Mohegan drew crowds from all over North America, braking [sic] attendance records for perversion weekends in Lake Mohegan.  In all, Sunshine, Bill Renke, and Pete Copper all competed with Severin for the title of pervert of the weekend which was eventually won by Fred Astair[e], who put in a surprise visit Saturday evening.  A fine time was had by all.

LETTERS (CONT.)

Apparently, some members of the MIT team recently saw “The St. Valentine’s Day Massacre.”  After losing to a dedicated HYTH team they attempted to eliminate one half of the championship team.  As is the MIT way, they lost. And why did they lose?  It wasn’t even St. Valentine’s Day, that’s why.  The facts are that they hired an assassin who drove his car into the car in which Carl, Sunshine and myself were traveling.  Although their insidious plot failed, Carl, our devoted team leader, will be unable to attend the continentals.  The other two dedicated HYTH players escaped with head injuries which will only slow the overwhelming thinking edge that the dedicated HYTH team has.  My proof of this plot is that the other player borrowed 55 c from me to, (and I quote), “call some Rinky Dinky guy in Boston and get my $403.99.”

In accordance with this charge and with the fact that the dedicated HYTH team is the only sexually equal opportunity winks team in NATwA, I think that the HYTHNLBTWOC as a whole be given the Yvonne F. Lukey Memorial Award.

I agree that we should try to maintain better communication between the winking powers on each side of the Atlantic than has been the case in the past. It is, as you say, more difficult between people who have never met, and cannot for[e]see doing so in the near future.  An ETwA vs. NATwA match would obviously help in this respect, as well as being tremendous publicity. However, my efforts, as well as yours, to find a willing sponsor have been fruitless.  I will keep trying, though, and let you know if and when any progress is made.

You invited me to submit an article for publication in NEWSWINK; I am working on a rather long discussion of the tactics and strategies of tiddlywinks, something about which amazingly little has been published so far.

At the moment (and in the for[e]seeable future) my work, studies related to my work, and a complication of various other matters demand about 150% of my time.  That is, I can’t seem to find enough time to do all these things that take priority over my favorite pastime.

As a result, I feel it would be highly unfair of me to produce any further NEWSWINKs in the hope that I might find the required time, or to take on any other responsibilities of any kind.  I feel the editorship of NEWSWINK should be passed on to someone else who can do the paper justice although I am sure that in the future I shall be submitting an occassional article for approval to the new editor.

Letter from the desk of the Sec-Gen

Dear winkers,

As you all know, the 1972 continentals are but a few short weeks away.  On Saturday evening, the 19th, the annual NATwA congress will convene, at which time many problems and proposals within the organisation will be discussed and voted upon.  Hopefully, the friendly atmosphere of past congresses will prevail.  This is an opportunity for the little known winkers to express their opinions to the whole of NATwA without feeling inferior or neglected.

The following are a couple of topics I wish to have discussed at the congress.  Please read them over and discuss them among fellow winkers so that the congress this year may result in a more meaningful collection of opinions.

At last year[‘]s congress, a rules committee was appointed to help resolve all questionable situations that occur in some games.  Many new questions have since arisen relating to a set of standardized rules to be used here and in England.  They are:

1. The reduction of the 25 min. time limit to 20 min.  NATwA is [t]he only tiddlywinks organisation which plays a 25 min. game.
2. A player receives an extra shot for \any\ wink potted in their turn.
3. If any wink is sent off the mat in a shot the player loses a turn.
4. A player must, if required, indicate before playing a pile his intended shot, and this may be challenged.
5. If a shot is illegal, winks remain or are replaced at opponents’ discretion – they are not played again.

The subject of players jumping from team to team has been brought up at various times over the past few years, but little has been decided.  Should NATwA set some general standards on team eligibility, or should the present “laissez faire” attitude continue?

Please discuss these topics among other winkers and be prepared to rap about them.  Thanks.  See you in Ithaca.

HAVERFORD HIGH HISTORY

In December ’68 Richard Pieper, a Cornell student and Haverford High graduate, happened to stumble upon the ’68 continentals, which by coincidence were being held at Cornell.  Intrigued by the game, he went to the local downtown Ithaca Woolworths and bought himself a set of Milton Bradley Jumbo Tiddlywinks.  A few weeks later, during Christmas vacation, he managed to get Ron and Mike Brachman interested back in beautiful downtwon Havertown.  He couldn’t remember all the rules, so the three of them sort of improvised and developed a game more dependent upon potting.  When Mike Brachman returned to school in January, he began to play in the cafeteria.  Despite an initial negative reaction by the uninitiated masses climaxing in fruit wars between tables, an underground movement flourished under the leadership of Mike.  By the spring, the whole school had turned on to potting and the first annual R. D. Pieper Memorial Spring Tiddlywinks Tournament of Champions was held with 32 players entered in the single elimination tourney.

The following school year Mike succeeded in making tiddlywinks an even bigger and better activity at the school.  The school’s radio station carried the finals of the second annual R. D. Pieper (etc.) and this time 64 students were involved in the event.

Last fall, Mike entered Michigan University and left HHSTw in the hands of Sue Shrut, a senior.  But unfortunately the craze had begun to die.  Student apathy set in and the future of Haverford winks is unknown.  By some strange pregression of letters, Mike learned of the existence of NATwA, and before long Haverford had received an unreadable letter from Sunshine and an unexpected visit from Tim Schiller.

What has happened to Haverford winkers?  Mike promises to get in contact with Stan Perlo (remember him?) at M. U. and may start a team there.  Sue Shrut has become an MIT coed, a very rare creature indeed, and the half dozen or so other known winkers are scattered all across the northeast and may be starting or joining other teams.

Dear Rosie,

FAME AT LAST?

Broadcasting history was made on the morning (very early in the morning) of Saturday April 29th 1971, when the B.B.C. Radio 4 programme “Today” put out live the first ever Intercontinental Winks match, between the English Champion, Alan Dean, and Rosie Wain of Canada.  There is no Singles championship of Canada but Rosie and her partner Andy Tomaszewski are the pairs titleholders.

As one of the only two spectators to the final of the first English Singles Championship, it is perhaps appropriate that I shoul report on the latest of A.D.’s encounters again played under somewhat unusual conditions (the Singles final had of course been played in the entrance hall of the UMIST Union building).

The match took place in a small studio in the depths of Broadcasting House with an audience consisting of Mick Still the (impartial?) umpire, one completely baffled commentator, and myself (and about seven million listeners). Fortunately the Canadian version of the game is very much the same as ours, though across the Atlantic 25 minutes rather tahn 20 is the accepted time limit.  The players were also in agreement on the blue – green – red – yellow colour order (unlike some people).  One “killer” game had to decide the contest in order to fit with the programme schedule.

Rosie started well, getting some good squops, and was also assisted by Alan sending one of his winks off the table, but she was soon suffering and Alan had gained control by the half-way stage.  Several times during the game the reporter, Dennis Frost, discussed the state of play over the air with Mick Still, who explained that the object of the game was not just to pot the winks (nor even to flick the counters into the egg-cup).

Alan duly went on to win the game 6-1 (the score was never reported on the radio) and the two players then faced an interview with Michael Aspel.  He was sure it was unfair to have a match of a man against a woman, though as Rosie observed, “Sex doesn’t matter!”.

Everyone at the B.B.C. was most friendly and kind and we were very grateful for the chance to see the /w/akings of the corporation from the inside, and for the opportunity to give Winks some nationwide publicity.  Let’s hope this is the start of a new upsurge of interest in the game.

(Winking World – 19    July ’71)

❑

SInce the May tournament, Rosie has returned to England to stay.  She has enrolled at a teachers college in Nottingham and reports that she enjoys teaching Chemistry and Physics to 11 year-olds each week at Humphrey Perkins Secondary School in the village of Barrow-upon-Soar.  Rosie also mentions that the autumn in England is “boringly brown”; to compensate, she purchased a bright orange mini which she considered naming after her former idol, Moishe (Moishe the mini???).  The former Moishe eventually lost out, however, to CAROTENMOBILE.

P.S.:  Dear Rosie…..Who was that “wishy-washy little tit”?

FROM SEA TO SHINING SEA

WINKING WORLD (Reprinted without permission)

WORLD CHAMPIONSHIPS IN 1971 ??

The exciting possibility of a match being arranged in England this year between teams representing NATwA and ETwA makes front-page news in this issue of Winking World.  Publicity and public relations director of NATwA is Bryon Alexandroff, who is in addition captain of the Toronto club.  According to Bryon, the NATwA team would probably come to England in late of mid-1971, and would generate world-wide publicity from its side of the Atlantic, as indeed would ETwA.  Bryon mentions, perhaps ominously, that they (NATwA) have not yet acquired the financial support for such a trip but they are nevertheless keen to knwo whether the possibility for a World Championship match exists.

Whether or not this does in fact take place in 1971, it seems that, in the view of the healthy state of the game both in Britain and across the Atlantic, it cannot be long before winking armies from North America/n/ and England come together to do battle.  And although I feel there is no danger of anyone over here underestimating anyone over there, it is perhaps appropriate to contemplate another sport that England gave the world, and remember what befell her against the United States in the 1950 World Cup football tournament. (Answer – p.94)  There again, if England were to lose the Bombay Bowl at the Congress next April, thereby losing the home international championship, awkward que[s]tions might be raised as to who was qualified to compete for what.

(Winking World – 18   Jan. ’71)

Dear Sir,

This year[‘]s Congress bore the Alan Dean trademark of ‘less talk and more winks'[,] a good thing but it meant that little thought was given to the stagnating state of winks in this country and the fact that the last ten years have seen no increase in the number of schools and youth clubs playing the game.

The mass media were there in force and so, one would think, this was a tremendous opportunity to fire the imaginations of the many millions of potential winkers who don’t know it yet.  In fact, most of the national dailies carried only a small paragraph about the event and no-one listens to Radio Manchester anyway.

One reason for this could be the much lamented passing of the mini-skirt. Rear views of young ladies bending over tables to take their shots always used to guarantee a fai amount ofexposure – in every sense of the word!  The main reason, though, must surely be that we are all incredibly ordinary, boring, common or garden people.  We aren’t idiots.  We aren’t mad.  No, Rev. Shepherd, it’s no good trying to inject the game with something of the respectable gentility of the boatrace; after all – how many winkers started playing, thinking it was a serious game?  Changing the name isn’t the answer either. Last year’s Congress decided that the only better alternative names in order to attract more people to the game were ‘Sex’ and ‘Football’, both of which, if implemented, presented certain problems.  For instance, the ‘International Rules of Sex’ would almost certainly be banned and quite what the ‘Prince Philip Silver _____’ trophy would be is anybody’s guess!

No winkers, we’re presenting the wrong image.  We must be mad.  We must be idiots.  Winks is a silly game anyway.  Let’s start treating it as such – at least whilst we’re under the glare of publicity.

The public already laugh at the game and trying to tell them they’re wrong to do so is like running up an escalator which is going down.  So let’s change directionand then, maybe, more people will start taking to the mats, because only if they come to realise for themselves what a great game Winks can be, does the winking population of the country stand any chance of increasing.

(Winking World – 19   July ’71)

BOT

The first annual Branches of the Tree Tournament was held in April at Nestor Stadium, Teaneck N.J.  The 3 branches of the HYTH (Hark Yon Tree Hath No Leaves But They Will Out Club) – Boston, Teaneck and Philadelphia each supplied four bodies.  The turning point of the match occur[r]ed in the 0th round when branch leaders from Philly and Boston met and held a trade.  Philly sent Shana Bricklin to Boston and in return received Allan Fuchs, a chunk of salami, and Boston’s 2nd round draft pick for the 1972 season.  With classical music as clocks, the action proceeded, and lead by unde[fe]ated Shana and L, Boston proved to be the team most successful at accumulating points, narrowly defeating Teaneck.  After the match, Philly and Boston conducted a trade. Boston sent Shana to Philly and receive in return Allan, its very own 1972 draft pick aod the remains of a chunk of salami.  The reduction of the chunk was attributed to depreciation of Shana.

BIT

The first annual Boston Invitational Tourney was held at MIT on the weekend of April 25th.  MIT challenged the combined strengths of Somerville and HYTHNLbtwoc in what proved to be a one-sided match.

			Bob	*****	Ferd	Gred	BillG	Carl	TOTAL
			Jon	Mary	L	Sue	Dean	Nestor

Dan-Dave, Arleen	6-1	2-5	1-6	2-5	3-4	2-5	16
Christ-Craig	       4½-2½	1-6	1-6	5-2	1-6    3½-3½	16
Bill-Fred		1-6	6-1	3-4	6-1    1½-5½	1-6	18½
Tim-Paul		2-5	6-1	1-6	3-4	5-2	4-3	21
Moishe-Rich		2-5	1-6	2-5	3-4	1-6	1-6	10
Jim-Allan, Mike		1-6	6-1	1-6	1-6	6-1	1-6	16

			25½	20	33	22	24½	29½

HOTT

HALLOWEEN OPEN TEAMS TOURNEY

When 48 winkers gather together on the day before Halloween to play winks, what more can be said?

TOP INDIVIDUALS
Name	 W-L  Points

Jake	 6-0	36
Phil	 6-0	33
Bill	 5-1	32½
Todd	 5-1	32½
Moishe	 6-0	32
Pete	 6-0	32
Sunshine 5-1	29
Mary	 5-1	29


		HYTH	RIV	MITBL	MITRD	SOM	MIS	BLMTN	TOTAL

HYTHNLBTWOC	-----	11	11	15	12	 8	17½	74½
RIVENDELL	10	-----	10½	13	 8	14	17	72½
MIT BLUE	10	10½	-----	 9	13	 8	18	68½
MIT RED	 6	 8	12	-----	10	17½	14	67½
SOMERVILLE	 9	13	 8	11	-----	 8	17	66
MISCELLANEOUS	13	 7	13	 3½	13	-----	16	65½
BLUE MOUNTAIN	 3½	 4	 3	 7	 4 	 5	-----	26½

P.S.  Severin wanted me to tell everyone that he played the worst game of his entire life against Moishe in this match.  Consider it told.

Ask Andy

Dear Andy,

I am a poor, small, very flat red wink who can’t seem to find anyone to squop with.  No one in Flatland seems to understand what squopping is. Recently I met a big handsome blue squidger from Sphereland who has helped me overcome my problem, but I just can’t get squopped enough.  He told me that what I really need to do is put on some weight and go to an orgy, where lots and lots of winks get squopped, but I seem unable to put on the necessary weight or even find out when the next tiddlywinks orgy will take place.  He told me that you may be able to help.  Please help!  I am desp[e]rate.

P.S.  Why don’t you come up and squop me sometime?  You won’t be sorry.

Dear Hazel,

I just may do that.

Dear Andy,

In a game recently, I exploded a very large pile which resulted in all twelve of our opponents[‘] winks squopping each other, and leaving all 12 of our winks free.  Since our opponents were squopped out we received 12 free turns.  But how can we free them if we are not squopping them?  Must we waste a free turn squopping them so we can free them or do we just move one of their winks aside after the turns are over or what?

Dear Junior,

I dunno.

Dear Andy,

Help!  All my friends think I’m crazy when I tell them I scored 12⅙ points in two games last week.  I was playing with A. C. Dent against Joe Hill and Wobbley last Tuesday, when in the first game A. C. potted out and Wobbley and I each had one wink left to pot.  It was my turn and when I shot my wink it hit Wobbley’s and both bounced into the pot.  Now A. C. got 4 pts. for first and the two-way tie for second got us another 1½ pts.  Adding in the 1 pt. transfer gave us a 6½ – ½ pt. victory.  In the second game A. C., Joe, and I each potted 5 winks with our last ones involved in a pile with me on top.  I managed to pot all 3 of our winks in the same turn, thus ending the game. Since the three of us tied for first A. C. and I received 4⅔ pts. plus the 1 pt. transfer for a 5⅔ – 1⅓ pt. victory.  Do you believe me?  A. C., Joe and Wobbley refuse to comment on the games and they’re tryin[g] to convince me it was all a bad dream, but I know it really happened.

Dear Yvonne,

Why don’t you pair up with Captain Nemo’s son.  You’d be deadly.

SCHILLER SHATTERS SQUIDGER

WELL-KNOWN WINKER WRITHES IN WRATHFUL WOE

Cambridge (BR) — On Saturday, September 24, 1971 at 10:30 PM Tim Schiller, MITwA Captain accomplished the impossible.  Playing a four-color game against Bill Renke, he was in the process of blitzing his opponent when after having potted two winks, missed his third, landing it within half a wink of enemy blue.  Engrossed with rage, he hurled his famous red squidger at the nearest brick wall and watched in disbelief as it proceeded to shatter into a half-dozen pieces.  Weakened by the occur[r]ence, he completed the game under great distress and fell to his sympathetic opponent by the score of 5½ – 1½.

Asked after the game if he had a few words for the press, he stated, “#6XPfT#%!  Do you realize I’ve had that grainy red squidger for four years now?  I’ve thrown it hundreds of times and not once has it even chipped.  I guess I’m going to have to find myself another squidger.”

But the question remains:  Will Tim call his new squidger Andy?

CARS

“Andy”, being Ferd’s truck and having caused him great distress by refusing to run has been adopted by the Bobs.  As Rosie called her former Volkswagon [sic, should be Volkswagen] “Bob”, we are hoping they will consider calling the truck “Rosie”. Mea[n]while, Andy’s “Ferd de Ford” probably has less than a year to live, and he is hoping within that time to befriend a deep-purple Volkswagon [sic, should be Volkswagen] which he will call “Purple Floynk”, after Pink Floyd.  He says, “It’s going to be an Atom-Hearted Mother with a four-speed Ummagumma!!… but they all become Relics in the end.”  As do we all.

AWARDS

The annual A. C. DENT Memorial Award this year goes to Sunshine, Bill Gammerdinger, and Carl Chenkin for their great perform[a]nce on the evening of Dec. 5th.  While driving through Hackensack, N.J. they managed to get squopped from behind[,] forced into the guard rail and without the least bit of strain, Bill and Carl managed to violently squidge themselves a total of some 72 feet from the car.  As expected, Sunshine slept through the entire event.

The YVONNE F. LUKEY OF THE YEAR Award goes to Andy Tomaszewski for craftily being lost for the last nine months, during which time he missed two tournaments he promised to attend and postponed the publication of this issue at least three times.  We, the forgetful people of the world, salute you Andy!

The Suzy Homemaker Winkbread of the Year Award will be presented by last year[‘]s winner, iced-unsliced raisin bread at the continentals in Ithaca next month.  For those of you interested in baking a loaf…..

Mix well in above.  Bake 1½ hours at 350 degrees or until done.

Makes two loaves.

(For those of you who don’t know what you’re making, some call it Pumpkin Bread.)

STATISTICS + RECORDS

Since the Cornell-MIT-Harvard triangular match of February ’67, 19 matches consisting of 1124 tournament games have been played in North America.  The people responsible for producing the following collection of useless facts are Severin, Sunshine, and Bill Renke.  Do unto them whatever you wish, but remember, an IBM 360 is watching you.

[Note: the winkers listed include: Ferd Wulkan; Sunshine (****); Bob Henninge; Severin Drix; Phil Villar; and Tim Schiller.]

RELATIVE GAME SCORE FREQUENCY

SCORE NUMBER PERCENT
 6-1    571	50.8
 4-3    180	16.0
 5-2    179	15.9
 7-0     77	 6.9
5½-1½    68	 6.0
4½-2½    30	 2.7
3½-3½    10	 0.9
4⅔-2⅓    9	 0.8

GAMES PLAYED

1 Ferd     127
2 *****    127
3 Bob      126
4 Severin  100

WINS

1 Ferd    103
2 Bob     100
3 *****    89
4 Severin  66

POINTS

1 Ferd    643⅙
2 Bob     632
3 *****   548⅙
4 Severin 425⅙

POINTS/GAME

1 Phil	5.08
2 Ferd	5.07
3 Bob	5.02
4 Tim	4.81

An interesting statistic first noticed at the BIT last April, implies that a team’s scoring performance is inversely proportional to the amount of sleep it received the night before.  HYTHBYTE scored 61% of the points, but only got 36% of the sleep.  At the HOTT in October similar relationships were also observed  (See next issue for fun-packed formulars [sic, should be formulas]).

SUNSHINE POTTING RECORDS

small winks

 2  in. 996 / 1000 = 99.6%
 4  in. 497 /  500 = 99.4
 6  in. 946 / 1000 = 94.6
 7½ in. 451 /  500 = 90.2
 9  in. 425 /  500 = 85.0
12  in. 316 /  500 = 63.2
15  in.  45 /  100 = 45.0

Most consecutive winks potted – 332 (2″)

Most consecutive squidgers potted

Longest gromp – Bill Gammerdinger and Carl Chenkin – 72 feet

Longest winning streak

Longest game

THE ORDER OF THE COLOURS

An original poem(?) by Andy Tomaszewski

Tiddlywinks Man-on-the-Street Contest

the question, to wit, namely….”What I like most about Tiddlywinks” (in twenty-five minutes or less)

The list of responses:

1. I don’t know.
2. The inherent winkness of it all.
3. When a group of winkers get together, it gives them something to do.
4. Visiting strange places.
5. The funny names of the players.
6. Our benign dictator.
7. Ronald Rumm.
8. In tests at leading colleges, Tiddlywinks has been shown to be a highly safe yet significantly effective method of contraception.
9. It has the same colors as the twister board.
10. It leaves me in sti[t]ches.
11. I feel censored.
12. The way people react when you tell them you play tiddlywinks.
13. I might set upon cooking myself some peas.
14. Actually, that’s a hard question.  I suppose it fills a need I have’ so you could say I like tiddlywinks because….and because it’s cheaper.
15. It teaches me to alphabetize the colors.
16. I don’t….
17. It is the ultimate equalizer.

The men and women who were on the street at the time the question was asked, and who answered decently include:

1. Rabbit [Sue Goody]
2. Hensley
3. The Sot
4. Mary [Kirman]
5. Sunshine
6. Slick
7. MP [Rouse]
8. Scott [Hirsh]
9. Bill “Red Scarf” Gammerdinger
10. Bob Henninge
11. Bill Renke
12. Dean [Solomon]
13. Mary [Kirman] again
14. Sunshine’s partner
15. Solomon
16. M[ary]. Kirman
17. Jim Marlin

Instructions to the general populace: Match the names in the human being column (above, not intended to be exclusive or inclusive) to the quotations in the column on the left [above], as best you can.  Score yourself as follows:

What to do with a little space left over…I dunno

RESULTS:  PAIRS TOURNEY

Ottawa, May 2-3, 1971

POS    PAIR                      1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9 10 11 TOTAL
 1 Ferd T. Bull-Bob Henninge     -  6  6  6  6  6  5  7  7  7  6  62
 2 Severin Drix-Phil Villar      1  -  6  6  5½ 4  5  6  6  5  6  50½
 3 Rosie Wain-Andy Tomaszewski   1  1  -  6  6  6  6  6  3  6  6  47
 4 Lee Cousins-Dave Barbano      1  1  1  -  4½ 4½ 2½ 6  3  6  7  36½
 5 Bill Renke-Moishe             1  1½ 1  2½ -  4  6  6  6  2  6  36
 6 Sunshine-Naomi Cusowski       1  3  1  2½ 3  -  1  5  5½ 6  6  34
 7 Bryon Alexandroff-Jolyon Bone 2  2  1  4½ 1  6  -  1½ 6  2  4  30
 8 Debbie Tennenbaum-Marty Vine  0  1  1  1  1  2  5½ -  5  6  6  28½
 9 Barry Corbin-Glen Kezwer      0  1  4  4  1  1½ 1  2  -  5  7  26½
10 Wendy and Lindsey Horenblas   0  2  1  1  5  1  5  1  2  -  6  24
11 Chris Howard-Tom Berge        1  1  1  0  1  1  3  1  0  1  -  10

* SAYS

FLASH

JAWBONE AND CONTEST

Dateline:  Johnson City, Tennessee  Jan. 31, ’72

Flash!  NATwA Goes To War!

Members of the NATwA Barnstorming Expeditionary Force went to War, West Virginia early in their 1972 Southern Campaign.  Attempting a blitz on the steps of the War State Liquor Store, they were almost squopped out by a formidable state police pair, currently playing for the Warriors.  A serious auto-squ[o]p notwithstanding, our heroes managed to rip off a respect[a]ble 2 points, and realized that a modification of their Southern strategy was necessary for further success.  Marriage ensued.

BE THE FIRST WINKER ON YOUR BLOCK TO NAME THE MAGAZINE!

Perversions flourished in 1971.  Besides squop game variations like “tennis”, sadistic games like Squidger and Bite have been experimented with. Rules have been developed for basketball, soccer, hockey, tubbing, capture the flag, idiot’s delight, baseball, and boxing among others.

Sometime this spring, a perversion magazine by the name of _____ will be published and sent to all interested parties.  It will contain rules to many of the perversions and all sorts of other random information as well.

YES KIDS, NOW YOU CAN BECOME A BIG WINNER

Send your name for the new Perversion mag to

Naomi missed her most crucial play of the Pairs Tourney last May when she blew a simple two foot squop.  The parking lot squop, if successful, would have eliminated Andy’s “Ferd de Ford” and 5/6 of the eventual 3 top pairs of the match.  Huh?

Sunshine says, “Mary is the best natural squopper I’ve ever met!”

Jude has been made official HYTHNLBTWOC wizard by acclamation.  His wizard hands and expert coaching led HYTH to victory in the Eastern Regionals.

Shana [Bricklin], NATwA Grand Froebel, has publicly expressed her desire to go to the continentals.

Daniel Dern, Official NATwA photographer, will be present during the continentals taking pictures and generally making his presence unknown.  Any of you interested in purchasing copies at a small fee should contact him.

THIS SPACE AVAILABLE FOR RENT

LOST + FOUND

Lost

One editor last seen in Ottawa on May 2, 1971.  If found, please send to continentals.  Big reward.

Found

One Harpur winker in Buffalo.

Lost

One large Oxford blue wink last seen at the HOTT.  Contact Mike Krassner [sic, should be Krasner.] at ALF.

Lost

One Secretary-General last seen in Ithaca, NY on Nov. 21, 1971.  Rumored to be in Barbados.  If found, please send to continentals.  Reward.

Lost

One entire team last seen at 1971 continentals.  Rumored to have gone underground.  If found, contact Bill Renke.  Reward only if complete.

Found

One large blue wink of the old type.  If yours, contact Moishe.

Found

One ex-Secretary-General at Eastern Regionals.  Slightly aged.  Owner please claim within 30 days or will have to retire.

PAIRS TOURNEY

JUNIOR CONTINENTALS

BIT [Handwritten note by Severin:  Apr 22-23 (prob.)]

HIBYOTT [Handwritten note by Severin:  May (2nd/3rd wkend)]

HUT [Severin crossed out this section]

SPRING LAKE MOHEGAN WKD.

MARRIAGES

AND ENGAGEMENT

OBITS

Rosie Wain, former editor of NEWSWINK and Secretary-General of NATwA passed away last May in Ottawa, Ontario.  Miss Wain was noteworthy for her great expertise on the mat.  Her loss is indeed a great sorrow.  Flowers and words of encouragement may be sent to

Clure (Nov 1968 – Dec 1971)

Best known for her defensive work, she was by far the hardest to squop.  Her strategical plays often forced her green teammates[‘] opposition into nonoptional shots in vi/s/cious attempts to [do] her in.  Retained amateur status, playing only in the BOT.  She is survived by none, mourned by many.

Carl Chenkin, former HYTH star and North American Squidger champion passed away on the evening of Dec. 5, 1971; the victim of an automobile accident. Fortunately, the death is only temporary and he should resu[rr]ect sometime in June.  All letters of condolences should be sent to